The beginning of the week brought with it a strange and unfamiliar feeling that once it took hold, I knew I was in trouble. It began Sunday night, a slight sinus headache that I put down to a heavy weekend. The antics began with the launch of Can Cook’s Pop-Up Kitchen and the post launch drinks (which saw a few sore heads at Agent HQ on Friday), after work drinks on Friday for Tom’s birthday, a night out down Botchergate back home on Saturday, topped off with hours of travelling on stupid trains that are never on time! So when the headache started I thought it was due to that. How very wrong I was!

Monday I felt really dodgy, as the day progressed I slowly surrendered to the haze of Man-Flu and I knew things were going to take a turn for the worst. Now I’m not a sickly child. It’s been nearly two years since I had a chest infection, cold or any other virally bacterial ailment but when I do get them, the nasty little bugs mean business. So lying in bed, dosed up with my mum’s recipe for chicken soup, paracetamol, Sudafed and a healthy dose of Night Nurse, I made a healthy and very lucid decision. That night I said good bye to one of my longest and most loyal loves of my life. So serious am I about this I am announcing it to all reading this blog. I, Darren James McLeod, have given up smoking!

Now I can imagine there are many different reactions to this that different fence standees are having. Non-smokers will be thinking ‘good for you, kick the habit, it’s disgusting, just think of the money you will save’. The ex-smokers are thinking, ‘and what? I did it years ago. it’s dead easy. I could do it all again and not get addicted, it’s the best thing I ever did’ (I know because I have been there and said these things). And the smokers are thinking ‘noooooooooooooooo! It’s big, it’s clever and it makes you look hard, what you giving up for stupid it’s so much fun’ (this has always been my rationalisation to carry on smoking. Juvenile maybe, but effective).

So what I am going to gain from it? On Monday night I wrote a list of pros and cons to convince myself that it was a good idea. This will sound strange to a no smoker but there are some really enjoyable things about smoking.

Firstly, there is the social aspect. As I write this, Paul Vish and Guy have just nipped out for a ciggy and its weird knowing I’ll never be going out with them again. It is also a great boredom breaker. When you’re waiting for something or someone and the time seems to halt, you can always kill a good five or ten minutes by lighting up. But it’s the money saving bit that is my main motivation. I really want to start DJing again but, as I sold my decks to help pay for my MA, it would take an age for me to save up as well as pay the necessary attention to Lady Nicotine. I worked out what I spend on ciggies a week could get me some industry standard turntables and mixer in next to no time.

I have to say though, sitting here writing this I could murder one. Writing and thinking about smoking has kicked off a massive craving. However, I will persist, persevere and reach my goal of getting hold of these and once again look forward to doing this, or this, or this!